Monday, September 3, 2007

Open Letter to the Kids with the Bottles

I am interrupting this blog to write the following...

Dear Kids in the neighborhood who drink too much:

Recently, I found your empty bottles in my recycling bin. While I applaud your decision to recycle, I ask that in the future you do not dump your empties in our bin. You see, everyone on the street knows that we just brought home our first child, and you might imagine their surprise when, out for a casual walk, they see the following items in our recycling:
4 empty bottles of Jim Beam
2 empty bottles of Sloe Gine (SLOE?)
1 empty bottle of Concordia Grape Wine (as if I would ever!)
and, my personal favorite, 1 empty bottle of Mad Dog 20/20
I am sure you can understand that we would not want the neighbors thinking that the pressures of being new parents were so intense that we had turned to drinking bottles of hard liquor (oh, and one bottle of cheap wine) every evening. So, in the future, if you need to recycle your empty bottles, please use someone else's bin - perhaps the family with 5 children in a 3 bedroom house... I mean, people might understand that!

Thank you,
Crabby New Mom at the Top of the Hill

15 comments:

  1. ROFL!!!!!!!!! You are a hoot!! I can't even imagine!

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  2. That is hilarious!! Thanks for the bright spot of laughter. After crying over everyone's blogs, it is nice to have a good belly laugh (but not a beer belly laugh!).

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  3. Haha, I'm laughing out loud at this one!

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  4. thanks stacie for your kind comment! i really enjoy the pics og micah... such a beautiful boy.. and it brings me hope.

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  5. Man.. I'd hate to see the 'other' recycling bin that collects rubber materials.

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  6. Wait...you mean it isn't normal to drink that much????

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  7. Oh my gosh, I don't even remember when I last laughed that hard, and I could use it. Very good points you have!

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  8. I was thinking the exact same thought as Dawn :)

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  9. Thats awesome can I write on to the noisy kids in my neighborhood do you think it will get red by them :)

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