Okay, so... we've probably all posted about this before - the "Why Not Adopt From Here?" post. But, I've been thinking.... So, grab yourself a glass of wine and sit back if you're not too scared of what my come out of my... erm... keyboard.
What really grinds my gears (<--Family Guy reference!) initially about this stuff is the whole ethno-centric idea that is behind it. It's the same idea behind the facebook groups with names like, "I shouldn't have to press 1 for English when we're in America," crap. Yeah, I said it. It's crap. Don't even get me started on the status update about "Why are we helping people in other countries when people need help here." *shakes head, rolls eyes*
I don't know about you, but last time I checked we were ALL HUMAN. Regardless of the language spoken, or country of birth, or color of skin. And if you're a spiritual person (like myself) then maybe you also believe that we're all God's children. Just because I was born in America doesn't make me more deserving of privilege.
Okay, but I'm not here to talk politics, so let's turn back to adoption, shall we?
Here's the thing. I've been thinking about how some people adopt from "here" and some from "there" and some adopt older children and some adopt infants. And the somes question the other somes for not doing it their way. (Not all the somes, mind you, just some of the somes.) And there is shame involved. "Shame on you for not adopting from here. Those kids need homes too," or "Shame on you for not adopting an older child, they need homes most." And then there's even the, "Why adopt a white baby when there are so many children of color who need homes," question. It's never-ending.
And here is what I think. Adoption is very personal. You have to know what your family can handle. This isn't easy stuff we're talking about. You have to attempt to be mentally and emotionally prepared for things that you can never truly be mentally and emotionally prepared for.
So, why would anyone ever shame a family for choosing their own adoption path? Would anyone really want a family to choose to adopt trans-racially, even if they felt like they couldn't handle it? Only because there are more children of color who need homes? I know I wouldn't. Would anyone really want a family who feels unprepared for the challenges of emotional and behavioral disorders to take the chance of adopting a child with those issues - just because they felt like they should? And what about the children? Think about that.
Alas, this post isn't really for the readers of this blog. I know you all are with me on most of this stuff. I know that you've all been there, done that with the "Why not here?" question. But sometimes I've just got to get these thoughts out. Maybe start a discussion of something? I'm open to hear your thoughts - even if you're not with me on this stuff. It's good to disagree and I welcome your ideas!