CG: He's so cute! He looks like my nephew. Is he yours?
ME: thanks - yes he is.
CG: Did he start out darker? My nephew is mixed and he was really dark at first and then got lighter. I thought it was the other way around.
ME: I didn't meet him until he was 5 months old, so I don't know. And, I don't think he's bi-racial. He was adopted from Ethiopia.
CG: OH. How long did it take you to get him?
ME: (Will this ever end?) It took 8 months before we met him. It was very short - it doesn't usually happen that way.
CG: Oh - did you know somebody or something? You must have known someone to pull strings.
ME: No, it just happened that way for us.
CG: Oh, well he's really cute.
So, it was my first time with the question, "Is he yours?" This girl was not in any way trying to be mean, she was just curious. And, most people do assume that Micah is bi-racial. I've had that conversation before - this guy told me he looked like his girlfriend's daughter (ok) and she's mixed too. I explained he's probably not bi-racial, but that he was born in Ethiopia. The poor boy looked at me like I had said he was born on Mars and said, "Oh" and walked away. I sure hope these things don't happen all the time when Micah is older.
Another conversation we found ourselves in many times at Kevin's work party was the "He's so lucky" conversation. Many times I explained that we were the lucky ones. One person replied, "Oh, I hadn't thought of it that way - that's good!" That made me happy - that he could see exactly what I meant by that.
We also saw one of Kevin's old customers at the party (it was in a casino - he was there - not with the party). He is an African-American man and instead of telling us how lucky Micah is, he told us how blessed we are. (He had seen pictures of Micah from when Kevin sold to him.) I loved that - he had tears in his eyes saying, "You all are so blessed by this. You'll see - that child is going to bless your life for years to come." I have to say, that is one of the best reactions to our adoption (from an almost stranger) that we have had. He said it right - we are so blessed.
So, I knew these things would come up, and hopefully as he gets older they will fade a bit, but I think for now I'm doing my best with the questions. Since most people assume he is "mine" and that my husband is African-American, I don't get too many questions. We get a few looks when we're all together, but nothing truly negative so far.
Ok - if you actually sat through and read all that - here are some cute pictures :)
Playing with his 'new' tigger doll - it bounces around - Micah just likes to grab it and chew on it while it bounces.
With his bear from Erin, our Social Worker. The other day I was cleaning in his room and he was lying there just touching this bear's face. Very sweet.