As we get ready for our first baby shower this weekend and are anticipating our court date next week, I am continually thinking of our son's birthmother. My prayer each night is that she finds peace in the thought that her son is going to be loved, well actually he already is loved so much. (I can't tell you how many friends tell me "I love him already.") It is hard for me to imagine what she might be going through - does she think of him all the time? I would think so. Will the thought of her son going to the US make her happy? I'm not sure. Will she want to meet us? I pray for that each night. I know that she may choose not to, and I will be grateful that at least we have a small bit of information about her - many adoptive parents do not have a single bit of information to give their children.
I'm rambling, but these thoughts go through my head each night - I think of him and wonder what he's doing, if he's being loved by the nannies at the orphanage (I believe in my heart he is), if he's hungry, or being fed at that moment, or is he still sleeping. And then I think of his birthmom and wonder if she's okay, and does she have the same thoughts as I do? Does she wonder about him each night too? It is amazing to feel a connection to her - that we both may be sending our love to the same baby. You know that saying that a mother forever walks around with her heart outside of her body (meaning with her child)- well, I tend to believe that Micah Yabsira has two women who feel that way.