There is a story that my parents used to tell me about how my sister wanted to take me out to the curb on trash day when I was a baby. I guess she figured the trash men would take me away and she wouldn't have to deal with a baby sister anymore. This story has been in the forefront of my mind this week. Micah is adjusting to life with a baby sister and it's not been easy for any of us.
I think if we had just gone to a hospital, or birthing center, or where-ever to have a baby, our adjustment would be different. Still difficult, I'm sure, but we wouldn't also be dealing with major, and I mean major, separation anxiety on top of the baby sister issue. I still stand behind our decision to leave Micah stateside while we traveled, but it was hard on all of us. I stand behind it because Lia Makbe needed that time with just us to bond. Micah is high-energy and most of our time in Ethiopia with Lia was spent staring dreamily into each other's eyes. Pretty low-key stuff. Not at all Micah's speed.
Each day is getting better, and I hold on to the truth that each day will continue to get better. It's only our first week, after all. But this week has included me getting socked in the face more than once, sharpie marker on the counter and my computer (it came off the counter - Thank You Magic Eraser), and more melt-downs than I can count. One of the biggest melt-downs came after I took Lia outside with me (in the Ergo) to clean up some stuff, leaving Micah inside with his dad. NOT a good idea. He freaked out. See - major separation anxiety.
But, we're working through it. Thankfully, Micah is learning to express himself more verbally, so he is able to talk through all of these confusing emotions. Last night he asked his dad, "Why mom and dad bring baby home?" and also told Kevin that he is worried about us not loving him as much as we love Lia. Ouch. Poor little bug.
During the same talk, he told Kevin that he loves his sister. And thankfully, his anger and sadness is being expressed only in acting out towards us, not Lia. He dotes on his sister. He gives her kisses, worries when she cries (which is rare), and wants to help with all things baby. He helps change diapers (God forbid I should grab a diaper from the diaper-box - that is HIS job), helps shake bottles, helps bring her toys. It makes me cry on a regular basis. These things are enough for me right now. I know the next few weeks will be hard, especially after my super-amazing-does-it-all-husband goes back to work, but the fact that Micah wants to love on his sister is about the best thing ever. We'll get there. I'll just hide the sharpies in the meantime.